i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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