i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
