Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
