erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
i out mim tonsoeep
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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