You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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