were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
