Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
