If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
