We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
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