Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
