so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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