I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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