Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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