but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
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