I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Randomize
