i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
