I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Randomize
