sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
