just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
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She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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