So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
