i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
just tell him i said nine months
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
