After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
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all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
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