I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
The adults are the big ones right?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
