I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Everyone says I win the strip club
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
