My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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