Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
they call him Oral-B. enough said
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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