Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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