she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Semen is not good for contacts.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
