This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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