You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
