Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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