im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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