I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
The air was thick with penises
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
