Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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