i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
