I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
