yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
