FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
