Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
