last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
