I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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