speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
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