Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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