Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
