She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
