i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
He? As in you personified your dick?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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