Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Did I show you my penis last night?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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