Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
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