just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
