We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
