Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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