Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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