Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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