I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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