I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
