dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
My pussy is not your playground.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
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