she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding