You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there