i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
